It troubles me if i sit free

It troubles me if i sit free,
an hour of it, wrecks and strains
the nerves, more than a day of
work does it to me,

lie! lie! you may shout and say,
i am always thinking, how to improve
upon existing, what next to pick
hardly anything entertains me,

strange relation i have with sleep,
though it comes to me, but too soon i
take leave from it, sometime getting up
as early as four thirty,

rest and me have never been companions,
always exclusive of each other, where ever
it will be, it is for sure there
you will never see me,

I don't know what should i call it,
abhor it or adore it, am i afraid or do
i want to achieve something, something
always keeps on pushing me.