Tales of despair

I was not always this ugly,
I believed in helping the needy,
once a long time back,
I gave my old shoes and jeans
to a boy in rags who was freezing,
two days after, again I met him
he was again in rags and bare foot
asked him where are the jeans
and the shoes, he did not answer me,
now I pass by everyone like i did not see..

I was not always so unfriendly,
met everyone cheerfully and gladly,
once a long time back I told
my pains and secrets to a so called friend,
next day the whole street was mocking me,
dug and found out that it was he,
and i stopped sharing my pains,
though open to cheer and glee...

And who believed in the system
and rules more than me,
but once I was standing in the
queue to apply for a college seat,
the admission officer said let him come ahead,
you go home General Category,
I appealed, I cried, stop this change it,
but they did not pay any heed to me...

And long long back I loved life,
I liked everyday of existence and living,
but than I went through the things,
which totally shocked and shook me,
I saw the invisible cracks in every relationship,
i got convinced that even my existence is burdening,
and from that day to till date I am half dying half living,
and never again i could any beauty in life see..